The 2022 BMW Alpina B8 Gran Coupe follows the same familiar recipe concocted by company founder Burkard Bovensiepen in 1962. But unlike Gordon Ramsay?s signature Beef Wellington dish, Alpina?s formula is relatively straightforward: Take a BMW and make it go faster, stop harder, and corner like Charlie Sheen on rails.

In this case, Alpina opted for a “standard” BMW 8 Series Gran Coupe (yes, the one with four doors), took it to Buchloe, and never looked back. Fresh from the warm North American reception of the Alpina B7 sedan and XB7 SUV (or SAV as BMW likes to call it), the B8 Gran Coupe is a worthy third hurrah.

One thing is for sure, though: The new Alpina B8 Gran coupe will bring a silly grin to the faces of drivers who have the means to purchase a $140,000 luxury-performance sedan.
BMW Alpina B8 Gran Coupe: Down to Business

Alpina?s story began in 1962 when a young Burkard Bovensiepen bought a BMW 1500. The car had a four-cylinder engine with around 80 horsepower. Discontented with the engine?s lethargic output, Bovensiepen got rid of the old carburetor to make room for Weber dual carburetors. The result was 96 horsepower, impressive for its time. The car was so remarkable that BMW sales boss Paul Hahnemann convinced the brass to certify Alpina vehicles with BMW?s factory warranty.

In the 2022 B8 Gran Coupe, Alpina fettled with the standard 4.4-liter bi-turbo V8 and didn?t stop until reaching 612 horsepower and 590 lb-ft. of torque, the latter...