Wait, what year is this, 1985" Toyota is trumpeting their new hatchback" People still make hatchbacks as separate and notable things" I thought having a hatch out back is just what a car company does these days, what makes this 2019 Toyota Corolla Hatchback special"
So, yeah, “the Hatch is back!” as Toyota claimed in a far too smarmy and familiar tone that, along with hideously contorted marketing prose, permeates their press materials.
Waxing Poetics
Toyota, in print anyway, is trying as hard as that third rate high school Romeo to convince you to go to prom with him. And there’s something about trying too hard that just seems to make it all the worse. Just check out this one single paragraph:
“Corolla Hatchback has flair extraordinaire. With a theme of Shooting Robust, along with a design goal of Agile, influencing their every pen stroke, designers created a form that is simultaneously distinct, dynamic, muscular, and sophisticated. Shooting references the design?s sport coupe traits implemented in all facets.” Flair extraordinaire, Shooting Robust, design goal of Agile. Great job guys, you’ve now actively made me not want to buy your product. The only thing the marketing geeks have going for them is the complete and total lack of exclamation points. A minor blessing, all in all.
2019 Toyota Corolla Hatchback. Photo: Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.
Enhanced Stance
In a lot of ways, the 2019 Corolla Hatchback is pret...